Hello folks, I apologize for the delay in updates as things have been extremely difficult as of late. I felt Adivie’s condition was rapidly declining and something wasn’t ringing quite true in what I was being told. I arrived in Amsterdam on July 3rd, 2021. I soon realized I was misled to believe every effort was being made to get her out of the Hof Van Sloten Dementia Ward, where no one seemed to how they misplaced her in there. I was also told she would start getting the physical therapy they neglected to continue when they moved her, but she had not.

I arrived in Amsterdam to find my sister in an appalling condition, mentally and physically. She had passed out several times and had received a CAT scan and we were waiting on an MRI because they believed there could be an issue with the drain in her head. I couldn’t comprehend the delay on the MRI if they truly believed it was due to her drain, and I kept pushing the facility about it.

I could not leave her in that room alone; it truly broke something in me to see her like that. I spent every day with her until she fell asleep, until the day the results of the MRI came in. I kept pushing to have it done earlier but kept getting told there was no room on the schedule. The entire time I was there, two of the nurses were adamant she did not belong there and encouraged me to take any steps necessary to get her out. I told them once the MRI results were in, I would remove her and take care of her myself.

Once the MRI was completed we received mixed messages about the results. First we were told they would bring her to the hospital for additional tests by one doctor, then told by the facility doctor that there was no issue with her drain or valve, and further tests or procedures were not needed.

Needless to say, if any of you know me, I did not take their incompetence lightly. I scolded the doctor and told him that they violated the Hippocratic Oath. Instead of helping they did nothing but harm her. The social worker (whose identity I learned after the fact) tried to convince me to leave her there, that it would be too stressful and difficult to take care of her. I told him he had NO idea of the stress I was in because of her current state, which should never had happened, had she had competent care. I told him considering all they did was feed her and help her bathe ever few days and neglected all therapy, I knew I could take better care of her than they did. I let them know I was disgusted by their health system; one that neglects patients because it would require the facility to make an effort to help them. Apparently, after the meeting the Doctor yelled at the social worker because it had been his responsibility to get my sister placed correctly. He also arranged for a series of tests at the hospital to make sure they didn’t miss anything in their incompetence. It is ridiculous it took my flying from the US, berating doctors and pulling her out of a facility that was supposed to help her, to get the Doctor to do anything at all.

I arranged to take her out of the facility. I cannot begin to describe the state she was in. Those 6 weeks truly traumatized her and I refused to let her stay there. I was devastated that I was not informed how bad it was. Her boyfriend Martijn assured me he was doing everything he could. However, I began to doubt his efforts when he suggested we tell the facility to keep a bed open in the Demnentia Ward, in case she was too difficult to handle. I told him absolutely not, I will take care of my sister. I began to make plans for her recovery, where I was looking into home care for her and the necessary therapists. My doubts about her boyfriend Martijn were realized as he told me that, once I left, he could not be responsible for her. He needed to think of himself first, and he couldn’t take care of her, either physically or financially.

While I can understand the difficulty facing him, my sister helped him to find a home by moving in with her, then doing what was necessary to obtain another apartment, was their for his heart procedure, and helped raised his son for 3.5 years. Additionally, at that point I had assisted him with the the rent, her insurance payments and anything else she needed with the funds raised from family and friends. I had also told him that if she had home care I would continue to do so, and pay for any care the insurance didn’t cover. This was because my sister LOVES Amsterdam, and her life there. I tried to get her to come back several times, even offering to pay her ticket fare, but she refused. It was her home and I felt horrible for her that she had to leave it. However, when he told me that, I told him, then she will be coming back home to live with me.

Up until my return to Amsterdam, I had believed he truly cared for her and had her best interests at heart. Seeing her condition, hearing him suggest possibly putting her back in the dementia ward, then telling me he had to think of himself, that changed my thoughts quickly.

I advised him that since I had planned to stay until September, I needed to build up her strength, get her some physical therapy and I would take her back to the USA.

The first weeks home were heartbreaking. The trauma from the Hof Van Sloten Dementia Ward kept her from sleeping properly. She was afraid she would wake up with the “crazy people”. She is suffering from PTSD and all efforts to get her the neuropsychologist she desperately needed in Amsterdam failed, due to the incompetence of her Doctors and her boyfriend’s lack of urgency for her care.

After a couple of weeks she started to finally feel safe to truly rest and sleep. I know this because she has continually told me “I feel safe with you here”. Her short term memory is almost non existent. She will continue to have issues for more than a year as the brain tries to heal itself. She is often confused and also realizes there is something wrong with her, just not what. Patients who have a burst aneurysm never can remember what happened or the weeks following, so that is not unusual. Hopefully with time, she will remember what we have told her instead.

Her lack of physical therapy led to muscle atrophy in the leg and she had difficulty walking. I kept pushing her boyfriend to contact doctors and therapists. His lack of urgency in helping to get her the care she needed was something that tried my patience immensely. It took until the end of July to finally have a physiotherapist start making house visits three times a week.

The therapist Nina was a God-send. She has been using a new laser therapy technology that truly has helped improve her leg. (God bless Nina!) She recommended special footwear and a brace, and I tried for weeks to get it done. I kept running into obstacles, with her boyfriend Martijn cancelling the fittings and her Doctors taking vacation for 3 weeks straight. Her boyfriend said her Doctor has arranged for one (she had not) and I could not find a single doctor to write the prescription needed for the brace and shoes. I admit I had a breakdown when I failed in that endeavor.

With proper sleep, nutrition, vitamins and therapy, Adivie finally improved enough to be able to travel. Oddly tickets were ridiculously expensive from after September 6th, so I booked a return to America for September 6th. I spent the weekend of 8/24 packing up the 8 years of her life in Amsterdam (8 suitcases later). She did not want to leave Amsterdam and became extremely upset as the day got closer. Martijn decided to go away that same weekend, the 2nd to last weekend she would be there, to visit his parents. Yet once again, the boyfriend who tried to convince me with words that he cared for my sister, showed by his actions that all he cared for was himself.

Frankly, I am extremely disappointed and disgusted by her boyfriend’s behavior, an officer of the law in Amsterdam. I learned his interest was only in how he could benefit from her trauma. He made it clear to me on July 14th, 2021 he had no interest in having her at home and taking care of her during her recovery even with financial support. He spent very little time with her, staying out until late nearly evening evening, drinking and often becoming intoxicated staying up late (and keeping me awake). He clearly wasn’t working more than a handful of days, in his job in Amsterdam. In fact, he had told me his Captain gave him a lighter schedule in order for him to help Adivie. Other than an hour or two when he finally woke in the early afternoon, he did very little while she was home. Later I was to learn he did not visit her at the dementia ward as often as he tried to make it seem.

On two different days, he made it clear that he was more concerned about getting money for his own personal use from the fundraising I did for her care, than her actually leaving. He wanted me to provide funds for his future rent, despite it being his choice to distance himself from Adivie and her life (Thank God and Good Riddance!).

When I made it clear that was not happening, that the remaining funds were for her medical care and needs that will need to continue in the USA, he became difficult. His behavior led me to call the police on him, the 2nd time he tried to bully me into giving him money. The first time, thankfully there was a witness to the event, a dear friend of Adivie’s who helped immensely,

Why am I sharing this information?

The next day, I learned that he has decided to perpetrate what equates to fraud. He sent out a notice via an attachment in messages to friends and family. He advised them of a bank account he opened up in his name alone, supposedly for Adivie’s care, written as if it was with my approval. This is completely false. The account is NOT for Adivie’s care and I DID NOT approve any such account despite his words. His message is written to deceive people and to receive funds for his personal benefit. I was made aware of it by MY relatives that he had the audacity to send the message to. Additionally, friends in Amsterdam notified me they received the same note as well.

Below is the message he sent out. Very little of it is true other than she was happy to be home (with me, not him), I have been dealing with her challenges, and she has a big support group in the USA. As for Martijn being devastated about her leaving, it was clearly about the money he would not be receiving once she was absent.

That same night, he kept us awake until late, continuing his nightly bouts of drinking. After another night of his unacceptable behavior, I booked a hotel room for Adivie and I for the remainder of our trip, where we stayed until we left Amsterdam.

Frankly, it’s been a nightmare on top of the nightmare of Adivie’s burst Aneurysm. I am glad I brought her back to the USA, even though it will be another complicated process of getting her treatment she needs. It has already been a rough start, but I am hoping it’s the change of location and that she will begin adjusting to life here, and will continue to improve.

One good thing about this trip, is getting to know Adivie’s wonderful friends. They helped me keep my sanity in what became an insane world.

Adivie’s friends in Amsterdam have left me speechless with their love and care and help while I was there. Bailey Kauwen, Joan Lu, Tracey Prince…..thank you for your friendship, your kindness, your help and caring. I love you dearly and you all have become family to me. Patrick….thank you for everything you did. Cheryl, thank you for all your support and love and so happy we got to see you! The Cave Crew…thank you for caring about Adivie and arranging to see her again before she left. It’s not good-bye, just farewell until she heals and can come back to Amsterdam.

I’ll keep everyone updated on her progress now that we are back in America. Thank you everyone for the love, support, caring and donations that truly, have touched and helped us with Adivie’s care.

Thank you all!